Many have journeyed the path of curiosity…. Others have
feared what they would find… so who then really wins? Is it true then, the
saying that, “ignorance is bliss?” Is it better to not know what has the
potential to alter our lives, as we know it?
It is human nature to crave one of two life paths. You can
choose a life of overwhelming consistency or one of constant change. Regardless
of what the choice becomes, the journey will always be different. And by that,
I mean to say, that no two people will experience the same thing, even if they
choose the same path. As alike as
we are as a race or society, we are also individually and inherently different.
This comes with a variety of aspects in life… For example, from the way we deal
with emotions or issues to the motive behind a political view, the
justifications for each situation will be varied.
They say that someone who lives a cautionary life is one who
never truly lives…. But what is to be said of those who engage life with a
seemingly careless regard? Time is progressive, and life therefore, is forcibly
so. What then, is to be done with those who choose consistency? Those who
choose to protect themselves from change, and the ability to be vulnerable?
Just how many changes is a free willed person capable of handling at one period
in time? I fear that we will never know; at least not for certain.
The irony of it all boils down to the fact that the only
thing CONSTANT in life is CHANGE. So how do we embrace the life we’ve chosen to
lead when the choice was never ours to begin with?
For the longest time, I was certain that I was in charge of
my life and all the potential turns it could take. I was aware that life had
the potential to be unpredictable, but I assured myself that no matter what was
thrown at me and when, I’d always have the ability to come to a solution;
logically, of course. However, as life and time have progressed concurrently, I
have come to the realization that I am in no way, shape, or form, in control.
Instead of embracing the idea of pro-activity, I was without a doubt, forced to
be reactive.
In my life I have learned that I have a certain
characteristic, or ability rather, that can be deemed as either a blessing or a
curse. It really depends on how you decide to look at it. I am a people watcher
by nature. I enjoy just watching people go about their daily lives and
wondering what causes them to make certain decisions… (I guess I should have
studied a little more sociology or anthropology in college…) I have a habit of
watching the people who are close to me more than others however…. Obviously,
it’s only because I care about them more than anyone else… so I often wonder if
by watching them, I can learn how to be the best friend / confidant, sister,
daughter or girlfriend that I am capable of being…
However I’ve consistently run into an interesting problem….
As I watch those who are close to me from the sidelines… I‘ve learned things
that sometimes, I’d ultimately rather not know. And though I may tell myself
that it’s no big deal, my subconscious loves to play upon my over-active mind
and the abstract thoughts it produces… which ends up really putting a damper on
my relationships and subsequent interactions with other individuals….
I then find myself constantly asking… “Would it have been
better if I was oblivious and I never knew?” or “Now that I know, will it be
easier to make a decision that may effect the rest of my life?” And as it can
be easily predicted, I still haven’t found a definitive answer for either
question.
So herein lies the problem. I am also a thinker by nature.
So much so, that when I begin to think about something, there is almost
absolutely no way to get me to stop thinking about it until I have come to
understand every intricate detail of it. (Basically, the who, what, when where
and most importantly, why.) Thus, here I am, plagued by the choices I could
make and the potential outcomes of each, along with how the involved parties
would respond…. Day in and day out wondering why and what if, based on the
logical propositions of my over-active mind as they constantly and most
ferociously, attack the deeply compelling, heart-felt ideas proposed by my
heart…
Now I beg, where should I stand? Do I proceed cautiously and
ride out the wave to see how it ends up, just to maintain a false sense of consistency?
Or do I challenge the status quo and battle uncertainty until the death?
I’m afraid, I’ll never rightly know.
☮ ♥ & ♫
